Stupid Smart
by suburbs
Summary: Nick and Joe ask Kevin how he passed all his exams. Tag to Exam Jam


_Disclaimer: I do not own JONAS._

_A/N: Sorry I have been MIA for awhile now – life has been crazy. But I wanted to post something so I could have the 1,000__th__ story in Pure Horace Mantis. Yes, we officially have 1,000 JONAS-only stories in less than a year. Thanks so much to all the authors who have made this fandom so much fun. Also, be sure to check out the winners of the PHM Awards (see the link on my profile). Some winners have been posted and there are more to come. Thanks to Loved-Invention for putting on the awards and doing such a great job! _

_Extremely stupid, pointless tag to Exam Jam._

"What I want to know," Nick said as the three brothers sat relaxing in their bedroom after receiving news that the tour was back on, "is how Kevin passed everything, especially after the post-cookie calculus grade. I seem to recall Mr. Monroe saying that he'd never seen anyone get that many problems wrong on a multiple choice exam."

"Actually, he said that it took talent to score that low on a multiple choice exam," Kevin pointed out proudly.

"You know that wasn't a compliment, right?" Nick asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I chose to take it as one," the oldest Lucas replied. "Talent is talent!"

"Nick has a point," Joe piped in. "How did you manage to pass? You're history grade was pretty bad too, if I remember correctly."

"They never teach us any of the interesting things about history," Kevin whined. "Like when the first bear was dressed in a costume or who invented the mandolin. When am I ever going to need to know not to march my troops into Russia in the winter? I mean, I don't even have any troops?"

"Napoleon," Nick muttered under his breath. Both of his older brothers gave him a confused looked and shrugged.

"I bet if you organized our fans, you could take over a small country," Joe offered helpfully.

"Maybe," Kevin said thoughtfully. "But I don't think I'd want Russia. If the fans and I were going to invade someplace, I'd want somewhere cool like the Bahamas or Nashville or the zoo."

"Nashville is a city," Nick observed. "In the United States."

"So?" Kevin asked.

"So, you probably don't want to invade your own country. That's called treason – and it's generally frowned upon."

"I don't want to invade anywhere, which is why I think the stuff they teach us in history class is pointless," Kevin replied.

Nick opened his mouth like he was going to argue with his brother, but then he closed it, shook his head and sighed. "So how'd you pass?" He asked once again.

"Tutors," Kevin said happily.

"Tutors? As in more than one?" Joe asked.

Kevin nodded happily, "One for each class. Even the ones I wasn't failing," he added with a grin. "Turns out that it's a great way to meet girls. Even better than joining cheerleading, which I didn't do just because I'm super-cheerful, you know."

"Tutoring?" Joe asked incredulously.

"Sure," Kevin answered. "You actually gave me the idea by asking Stella to help you with math. Plus, I play pinochle with the guidance counselor on Thursdays, and she mentioned that there were lots of nice girls who wanted to be tutors so they'd have something to put on their college applications. So she gave me a list."

"The guidance counselor gave you a list of girls?" Nick asked slowly.

"Yup. And then I had tryouts, like when we auditioned people for our band. I picked ones who were cute and smart and who didn't faint or scream around me."

"So you found seven cute, intelligent, non-fan girls at our school who helped you pass all your classes?" Nick asked slowly.

"Yup. And three of them have asked me out," Kevin answered with a grin. "Cause I'm adorable and sweet." Nick raised his eyebrow once again, and Kevin added, "Their words, not mine."

"And you didn't think to share this strategy with the rest of us?" Nick asked icily.

"Yeah, cause Nick could really use a date," Joe pointed out. "The last girl he asked out dumped a drink on his head."

The youngest member of JONAS glared at his older brothers, "I could have been studying with a cute, normal girl, passing my test the first time, saving us all a lot of stress. But no! I got stuck with dumb and dumber!"

"Hey!" Joe complained. "I was an awesome tutor! I bet those girls couldn't have written you a song about acute triangles, not matter how cute they were."

"They were really cute," Kevin said smugly.

"Don't say that too loud, or Lulu might get jealous," Nick replied sarcastically.

Kevin's eyes went wide, "You're right! She's already upset that Grace is coming along!" He lowered his voice conspiratorially. "She likes to be the only electric guitar on tour. She's territorial like that." Raising his voice he said loudly, "But obviously none of the tutors were as lovely as my beautiful guitars." And then the oldest Lucas got up off the chair and sprinted towards his guitars, picking up the cherry red one and cooing to it.

Nick blinked at Joe. "How on earth is he the one who got seven girls to tutor him?"

"I have no idea," Joe said with a smirk. "But I'm totally doing it next year."

"Yeah, right," Nick scoffed. "No way Stella's letting another girl tutor you."

"True," Joe said with a frown. Only a moment later, he was grinning once again. "No problem. I'll just have Stella tutor me in more classes. It's still brilliant!"

"Why don't you just ask her out?" Nick asked, rolling his eyes.

"What?" Joe sputtered. "Why would I do that?"

Before Nick could answer, Kevin spoke up, "I think Lulu's pouting."

The youngest member of JONAS groaned and muttered, "It's going to be a very long tour."


End file.
